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My old professor, the Department Chair of the Behavioral Science department, came into the office today. I've run into him a couple times since I've graduated and he still remembers my name - makes me feel like an individual. We made small talk and he asked me what I've been up to post UVU. I know exactly what he was referring to, he wanted to know how I've utilized my degree since I've graduated. I told him I have yet to apply for a masters program. He encouraged me to do so and said it's never too late but if I wait too long they'll look at my application and wonder why so many years have passed. Of course the longer I wait the harder it gets.

I told him the thing that's holding me back the most is the dreaded GRE. If I didn't have to take the test I'd apply for grad school in a heartbeat. I took the GRE prep class at BYU but my pre and post test scores weren't the greatest so I was intimidated to take the real thing, thinking my scores wouldn't be good enough to get accepted. He recommended I read the book Mindset by Carol Dweck. He explained that people who have a fixed mindset think that their talents and intelligence are fixed and we spend our time documenting our talents instead of developing them. In a growth mindset we believe our basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. He said I need to look at the GRE as material that will help me grow and further my intelligence and not as a test or a score. He's right, the things I'll learn by studying for the GRE will help me grow. His statement really stuck with me, I shouldn't be so scared to take it.

I feel like I need something that will push me intellectually, challenge me, and get my brain working again. It's been a while.

I've been wanting to find a summer read and I think I just found it. Steven Clark inspired me to reach for my dreams again and to continue to challenge myself.

...

Nothing makes me happier than being a mother and I love that I get to spend my days with Leila. I never really thought about being a stay at home mom mostly because my mom wasn't. When I moved to Utah I realized that when women start having babies, they stop working too. What a luxury. I didn't really have an opinion about working or staying home until I became pregnant. Now that I'm a mom I see the importance of being at home to raise our kids; Eric and I agree that we want our children to be at home with a parent rather than in daycare. There are so many benefits to staying home with your child that I cannot begin to list them all, but the biggest benefit is probably the special bond Leila and I share. I think I can give Leila the time she deserves and we only have them for a short while. I'm lucky that I get to bring her to work with me, but we'll soon outgrow this place and being in the home is where I want to be...for now.

I think I would still like to get a masters degree so I have the opportunity to go back to work when and if I desire to do so. It seems that now a days having a bachelors degree is like having your high school diploma. I can't do much with my degree in social work and need to continue my education if I want to get a good job. I'd like to go back to work when the kids (thinking 3-4) are in school and that's why my ideal job is to be a  high school counselor - same schedule as the kids.

I'm going to set a goal to take it by ___ date...but who knows, it may never happen. After all, graduate school cost a pretty penny especially if I'm  going to put it to use right away.